You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
