In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
