ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
