ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
