The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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