just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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