dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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