no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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