Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
