sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
