Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
