btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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