I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
