We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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