well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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