After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
honey bunches of taint.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
