why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
