My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
