It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
