Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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