Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
