Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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