So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
