Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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