then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
