he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
