i used baking grease as lip gloss
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
