just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
organizing the empties. That sober.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
