THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
