i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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