I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
