just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
