im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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