My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
