whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
