I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
