we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
