He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
