just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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