god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
