that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
