I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
