my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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