I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
