Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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