ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
