haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
