I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just invented taco cereal.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
