he wants to bone in the snuggie
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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