ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am available for nakedness
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
