WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
