I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
