wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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