So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
